Turn off the T.V.

Turn off the T.V.

"You always admire what you really don't understand." -Blaise Pascal

January 26, 2015 3:35pm

Peace. I had it, have leftovers, we all dig deep for it. A time of it, in my world, has been at the heart of a continuous strive and progressive changing. Specifically, silence opened its doors. Not much of it has been encountered in my experiences, with the exception of before the rustles of day, and after the settling of night. I would allow my thoughts to form, giving way to a wall, obstructing distraction, in the form of a piece of poster board aside my desk. Lots of it may come. Some days I'm rolling along.

The most I've been at ease was during the thirteen hours without cable. It is odd for me to recount it. The sheer empty tones echoing the rooms delighted me ever so. I finally have an advantage point. Boredom would soon take over my siblings, to, maybe, if, gave the slightest chance of at least picking up a book for their interest. Gosh, would I want that again. Sadly, this was shaded.

The less I had, the more I was aware of what was available to me, and the more wholesome my thoughts become.

February 13, 201510:08pm

Vulnerability. Making the next step. These dreams I've been experiencing, they were all are linked by a factor that is not a mystery. It is, well, and will. 
 Over the past few weeks I have noted the more I am myself, the more I discover how thick the wall is between my soul, and the body that stands as the "middle man" from the real world. My dreams, all of them, had and have meaning. One of how as I watched a television program (and when has that happened), nearing the final minute a person was signing to the viewer, giving a little "demo" on that stuff we be missing. Later, opening my laptop, the only working computer in the apartment, I found that it signified how I wasn't effective in my communication of my ideas, that I must find another way about the roads.
Another vision, me on a lifeboat, on an ocean, with a cut-scene of a school bus, was flashed before my eyes.
"You are about to venture on an important life journey needed for your own personal growth.

2/7/15 Stage: It is telling of your interactions with society. You are putting up an act and not being who you really are.
2/5/15 Can: There is something in your past that you need to hold on to and preserve.

2/3/15 In this dream, I wandered into a facility seemingly like my middle school, only the inside showed no signs of desks, nor were there whiteboards and the likes of the objects associated with a common middle-class school. There wasn't even a light on. Instead, the place was similar to someone's big garage. Objects scattered the whereabouts. I could recognize a chair, a desk, a chalkboard, an office printer, with the rest being blurred but still within sight. Just immediately to my front upon entering the echoing and oddly warm room was a blue light. This candle was atop a machine, a robot perhaps, glowed in a soft brightness, curious to the surrounding environment. Upon stepping forth, a loud crack sounded. An eerie stillness swept the abandoned area, an approaching form waded in obscurity. The robot did not at first chase me. Slowly did it creep forward, and asked a straight-forward question: "Will you be coming?" In a frozen stance, I didn't respond, which in effect, turned the serene light ocean orb into a hurricane  trapped in a snow globe. Outside perched a lonesome bicycle, a little to the left of the staircase. I grabbed it, eventually switching to a car, stopping by a fast-food restaurant, met some friends, and rode along the highway, escaping the epidemic.

2/21/15
The When

There is a heart inside of a passed fellow. We all have had experience with one, and, because of that, it doesn't make us any less caring than the force that is put into its thought. Sometimes we may have to push boundaries to have balance in this world. While the others of those said minutes of wander may not be as functioning as the circumstance presents. What is in a social pleasing? It is not one's own gold to thrill his or her friends for only their nay-saying optimism, like the silent poison of sugar, gradually embellishing our very existing souls in lethargic modes. What is in a judgement? How can we be humans if we are not without it? If we are oblivious to it's crunch? How about a lighthearted will of an actual motive? I may be reflecting from my own, inner belligerence.

Its views scrutinizing.
Little do I know about the warmth of daisies, either. Make the essence stay, whatever left of a hamster's energy for now, at least.
  
 I am accustomed to the lead.
Suckling its knowledge, wisdom, scaring my inner desire to build a wall from its wrath. I currently pick my way out. Often I am seen walking in circles about with sunshine behind, my progress continues, and life goes on.  The more I express, the more clear things become. Everyday, I feel this same sense, to such an extent that I must write about it. As the day goes on, however, and the sun's light is shaded by mellow dramatic family and tones, it's as though my dream faded away. This morning's, along with the formidable one of a continuum. Sometimes I may grab at the hint of the memory of it. The next day, is but another to re-experience. So far, I've reached until half an hour until the glow dissolves.
2/20/15 Drawer: "To see drawers in your dream signify your inner and hidden state and being. In particular, a disorderly drawer represents internal chaos and turmoil while an orderly drawer signifies calmness. Alternatively, a drawer symbolizes your reserves. There is something that you have stored away, but are now ready to use or express. If the drawer is full, then it symbolizes your many resources. If the drawer is empty, then it denotes your need to fulfill your goals."
 Piano:To dream that you are playing a piano indicates a quest for harmony in your life. Consider where the piano is placed as a clue as to what aspect of your life needs accordance. If no sound is coming out of the piano, then it implies a lack of confidence. You are not sure about how to express yourself and how to voice your beliefs.
 Nephew:To dream of your nephew represents some aspect of yourself that you need to acknowledge or recognize within yourself.
Beaker: To see or use a beaker in you dream signifies your need to integrate various aspects of your life together. Alternatively, the dream represents logic and objectivity. Perhaps you need to try looking at a problem from a completely different perspective.

These dreams are so meaningful, I have a deep understanding of my own form, and may see significance in those of others.
Bubble gum machine:
To see a gumball machine in your dream indicates that you are searching to be whole again. You are looking for something or someone to complete you. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you need to be more in tune with the inner child within. 
  
I am a searcher, so it seems.

The following morning, I went out for a bite. It was comparable to seeing a thirty-year old at a community college. The place was older than my father, and from the inside it was clearer by the stained tiled ceiling almost directly above our booth, the grease stain rising in a solid yellow smoke decor on the kitchen to the left. People could pop-a-squat and see the mellow-dramatic cuisine be fortified right before their noses. Our waitress wore a white apron that hid a contrasting uniform, serving my aunt and I iced water. Whatever it was about the place, it had a classic style of a movie-like run-of-the-mill, patty-flipping diner. To my right, even the ketchup and mustard bottles were plain red and yellow. It just looked the way. 
On most of these practice sessions for my driving, I would be spoon-fed what was "good" at the restaurant of the week.  This occasion called for something a bit different than the usual omelet. Today was, although still dairy-related, were eggs, and a side of hash-browns. Waiting for the order, I decided to talk.
"Do you have any pictures of the computer?"
Her mind had a processing delay before it came with an answer. "Oh! I'd like to show you." She handed me the phone. "Just scroll-"
In short, the water spilled, I ate, wrote, telepathy was used, and I drove back home. 

 

2015, Final day of February
Strength

There is a force that calls me. It is a simple one that has held hope for me, like a friend that believes the introvert can share his mind with her. The form of the nightingale. Dreams. With every passing day, there is yet another one, and each one has a significance of yesterday's motives. All of those missed opportunities are reborn into broadcasts, gradually in drops, daily, to be seen in a new light. The times are growing old for the proposed changed of lifestyle. There seems to be a wafting essence of a coming tide, here and in others, about all the things that means the future's outcome. No more waiting. And that may bring up another aspect of a drive. Conflict. Just now I found out my little brother, the twelve year old, had stolen from my mother, but was framed early. I sigh. I know I can help them. My family has that one good egg of the fallen cartridge. And as with all malicious indemnities, there is a relief once it is paid. For now, that is over there. Where over there, I shall find out, or try to. There will be a river, through the lengths of the unknown, eventually.